Carl Elliott is a professor of blah, blah, blah (NOTE: FIND OUT WHAT CARL DOES AND FILL THIS IN)
Dr. Elliott is a very thrifty man. He doesn’t like to pay for anything he doesn't have to. For example, web design. He doesn’t like to pay for that. Even for his brother. Especially his brother. You see, his brother does this kind of shit all day long, so it’s supposed to be easy for him. On the other hand, if his brother were to call Carl up to do some kind of ethics consultation in the middle of the night on taking his cat to the vet, or to write some kind of article in his spare time for free, well, you know what the answer to that would be. “Hey Carl, how about writing me up some Harper’s-style shit before you put the kids to bed? You know, with some doctors and novels, and fried chicken and ACC basketball and whatever the hell else you always throw in. No big deal, you do that every day, right?” Fucker.
Just so you know, Dr. Elliott does not own the carlelliott.com domain name - rightly, because Carl Elliott is also the name of a late Alabama Congressman, a former GWU point guard, a gardening writer and a Cape Breton fiddler. At the time of this writing, two listees on the State of Florida’s convicted sex offender registry bear the name Carl Elliott.
On some days, it would seem better to be related to any of these Carl Elliotts than to the character you see at the top of this page. Even convicted sex offenders pay for their websites sometimes.